There are those times in life where everything is going your way, deadlines are being met, clients are walking out satisfied and you're staying positive about most things. This energy is seemingly radiated out to most people and situations that surround you and life is as you would describe it, 'rockin'.
Then, *cue dark cloud cover*, you encounter someone or something that is determined to take your ego and crush it to the ground. Whether this comes in the form of a negative criticism from a colleague, family member or friend, it inevitably brings you back to a place that you felt you said bye-bye to a long time ago. How do you cope with these feelings of inadequacy?
Here are some strategies to help you learn from this experience, gain some insight about yourself and use it to allow you to move forward to better handle situations like this in the future!
- Write it out!
In your journal, or on a pad of paper, write out why these statements may have been made about you. At all costs, avoid scrutiny of the source and focus on the situation and it's reflection on you and your inner dialogue. Is it because you are feeling inadequate about your knowledge in that area? Maybe you are insecure about your authority?
Understanding why these statements made you feel the way you do can help you to better handle these situations in the future and give you insight into what sort of things you need to work on personally. - You can't ALWAYS be right!
- Others have the right to their own opinions.
Yes, this means that people are allowed to go home and gossip about you, if they so choose. But, that doesn't mean you have too!
Set an example for yourself and others around you by respecting the right of others to be who they are. Recognize that we can not always understand the motives of others, nor can we change them. This new-found respect for others and their personal space may just rub off!
Accept the responsibility that life is about experience and learning, not about who's more right. This can help you to learn from it, own it and move forward.
What about you? How do you handle criticisms?
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10 comments:
I love this post, it really makes me think about what happened to me recently with a friend. I am in a Network Marketing company and my friend just was drilling me with why he doesn't like Network Marketing. I had answers for him but it was quit difficult to deal with the onslot of negativity. I tend to deal with it by listening to Robert Kiyosaki, my favorite author.
Wow! I sure can relate to this! Definitely have hit a few speed bumps or brick walls along the way. I hear there will only be a few more :-(
I'll have your column in my pocket.
Thanks, Rupal!
I have 23 people that work for me daily. I don't eat lunch with them because it allows venting, many times about me. It's getting a thicker skin and knowing that each one needs your help or advice eventually that gets you through the negativity.
Let them be who they are and try not to worry about it. It's difficult at times, but so much better for the digestion.
I write for a living, so I'm used to constant criticism and rejection. At first it was tough but I've learned to accept it, and even learn from it. In fact, now I almost RELY on criticism because it makes me a better writer. Of course, some people could be more tactful in how they deliver that criticism, but in those cases I just try to tell myself "hey, if venting makes THEM feel better, then fine, I'll take it." Easier said than done, I know. =)
Learning to deal with it in a way that doesn't sabotage is one big trick. I've gotten much better at it. :)
Especially when things come at you during weight loss, sometimes we're too sensitive. Often the speaker is projecting their own issues onto us. I keep that in mind.
HLV-- Constant negativity can be draining! Sometimes it's better to just avoid those types of people all together.
Dr J-- yep, you can bet that there will always be tough situations everywhere you go huh?
TOm-- agreed!
Leah-- that's great advice!
Monica-- it does provide an opportunity for us to grow!
antgirl-- its so true!
~rupal
I get quiet and a little annoyed when criticized. I don't take criticism horribly, but I could be better about it.
Love the cartoon.
I go to the gym or for a walk first. I try to think of *anything* else for a while, and then s-l-o-w-l-y let the criticism filter in. By putting some distance between the comment and the thought process, I'm better able to sort out the wheat from the chaff. :)
"You can't ALWAYS be right!"...
I don't believe you!
;)
When it comes to criticisms, I try to take them objectively. If it's something I know I can work on, I try to make it motivation. If it's blatantly attacking, it can really dig in and hurt, but I try to brush it off.
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